Equifax is oh so sorry that it allowed the personal information of potentially 143 million Americans to be stolen by hackers. So, so sorry. But, being the benevolent credit reporting agency that it is, the company has gone out of its way to ensure you can easily check if you’re affected. Except, yeah, the entire process is shitty, confusing, and possibly meaningless.
And the hordes of Twitter are not having it. Like, really not having it. They’ve taken to the social media platform to ridicule Equifax for both the leak itself and the piss-poor way the company has managed the aftermath.
First, let’s start with the Equifax’s so-called “potential impact” check system. Ostensibly, by entering your last name and the last six digits of your Social Security number, you will be able to see if your data was pilfered.
Except that when many people, this reporter included, entered their information into the site, it returned nothing back. No “you’re in the clear,” and no “you may have been impacted.” All it did was provide an opportunity to sign up for an Equifax credit monitoring service.
So Equifax has a data breach of SS numbers, then the website to check if you’re affected doesn’t work and phone number is inactive. Cool!
— Polly Mosendz (@polly) September 7, 2017
To make matters even worse (yes, it gets worse), entering seemingly made-up information returned results.
Mashable tested it out, and we got the same result.
Even nuttier, Krebs on Security reports that entering the same information — once on a mobile device and once on a computer — provided different results on a least one occasion.
People, it should perhaps go without saying, are not happy.
also the entire equifax response is a flaming bag of poop
— alexandra j. roberts (@lexlanham) September 8, 2017
BREAKING: Equifax announces partnership with Hurricane Irma.
“Let’s fuck up absolutely everything,” they tell news sources.
— Matthew Inman (@Oatmeal) September 8, 2017
That sentiment was made even more pronounced when Equifax’s own social media team appeared oblivious to the world crumbling around it.
And the jokes — Stevie related and non-Stevie related — poured in.
While the credit of 143 million Americans may very well be on a death spiral, we seem to at least still have our sense of humor. So there’s that.