This spoken word poem about the orgasm gap will make you want to open up in the bedroom
Yep, it’s that time of year again: Valentine’s Day.
But, forget about all the hearts, flowers, and chocolates for a hot second, and turn your attention to something that’s long been overlooked: the orgasm gap.
Spoken word poet Holly McNish performed a poem about our lack of communication about our sexual satisfaction in the bedroom. Her poem forms part of Durex UK’s #wininorgasms campaign to encourage couples to communicate more in the bedroom in an effort to achieve mutual orgasms.
So, what exactly is the orgasm gap? Well, ladies, if you’ve ever come to the end of a sexual encounter without, errr, coming then you’ve been affected by the orgasm gap. We’re talking about a gender disparity in sexual pleasure. 64 percent of men globally have an orgasm during sex, compared to a mere 34 percent of women, according to the Durex Global Sex Survey which surveyed nearly 30K adults worldwide.
A study by Indiana University—which surveyed over 50K people in the U.S.—found that heterosexual women experience the fewest orgasms. The findings revealed something that many women already know: that penetrative sex alone doesn’t always cut it for most women when it comes to achieving an orgasm. Researchers highlighted the need for oral sex during and greater communication during a sexual encounter to bridge the orgasm gap.
And, according to Durex’s research, communication is something we Brits have a great deal of trouble with in the bedroom. Over a third of people in the UK feel they can’t tell their sexual partner what they like, or what their sexual fantasy would be. And, one in three say this is because they feel too embarrassed.
Hollie McNish’s poem addresses the scientific and technological progress we’ve made in the field of communication, and—by contrast—our persistent inability to open up in the bedroom.
McNish talks about the fact we “send messages through outer space,” and “speak screen to screen” but when it comes to saying “I prefer it when you touch me here,” we clam up and fall silent.
We can talk about the weather until clouds run out of rain
And we can chat about the day to day then sleep then start again
And we can argue over books we’ve read, politics, the news each day
But it seems our lips and tongues and throats run dry when we try to say
I prefer it when you touch me here
I’ll show you if that’s ok
We send messages through outer space
Texts that fly through floating air
Bounce sound waves towards burning stars split seconds, back to waiting ears across oceans
We speak screen to screen, faces flash through satellites
But this progress in communication stumbles when we try to say
I’d like to try out something new, I’d like to learn to pleasure you
I think this might be fun, I’ll show you round my body
If you’d like to come
Time to talk about sex, baby.