The future of the Earth is in grave danger, but at least it’s iced coffee season, baby!
The other day, President Donald Trump officially pulled the United States out of the Paris Accord. This, of course, carries horrifying and dangerous implications for the future of Earth, but hey, at least it’s goddamn motherfucking iced coffee season, baby! Oh, hell yeah!
With the United State’s announced withdrawal from the global treaty, many other countries could soon follow suit, which will almost definitely result in devastating effects on the global climate. But for at least the next three months, you can totally go grab an iced coffee and just take a load off! Go ahead and hit up a local coffee shop, grab that iced drink we all know and love, and just chill out!
According to a report by the Associated Press, the Earth is likely to reach more dangerous levels of warming even sooner than initially predicted. But hey, it’s not all bad, because guess what? It’s motherflippin’ iced coffee season! Grab an iced coffee, hit the beach and just reeeelax! Oh hell yes!
Don’t worry about the fact that 377 of the world’s top scientists signed an open letter urging Donald Trump not to withdraw from the Paris Accord when you could be on the patio in the sun, sippin’ on a chilled out iced latte from your favorite coffee shop! Yum!
Do not concern yourself with the fact that temperatures at Alaska’s Glacier Bay National Park and Preserve are now 5 degrees warmer than previous averages. Instead concern yourself with how it’s reasonable, and even expected, for you to grab a freakin’ iced coffee from your local coffee shop and sip on that sweet treat until the sun goes down, baby! Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!
Ice is melting at an alarming rate….in your iced coffee, that is! Drink that sucker up before it gets all watered down! Haha. And also, glaciers are melting pretty rapidly, too.
A showed that a reshaped Larsen C Ice Shelf that is missing a Delaware-sized chunk of ice will be much less stable than it has been. But don’t worry about that, you dummy! Iced coffee season has arrived, and it’s here to stay! Let’s get wild! Awwwww yeahhhhhhh!