Mark Hamill reviews the worst Luke Skywalker action figures
Star Wars toys weren’t always app-enabled, semi-senitent BB8s. Before all that fancy stuff, fans had to put up with dolls that certainly did not pass the uncanny valley.
Luke Skywalker himself (also known as real-life man Mark Hamill) took to Twitter to rank his toy counterparts throughout the decades of Star Wars fandom. And the results were extremely on point.
The Twitter presence is strong with this one:
Luke How Far I’ve Come:
A) Generic Lemon-Haired Ken Doll Luke
B) Black-Haired Semi-Conscious Adult-Diaper Luke
C) Pumped-Up Roid-Rage With Balcony You Could Do Shakespeare From Luke
D) Senior Citizen Jedi Pension-Plan Future Force-Ghost Luke#CollectEmAll pic.twitter.com/5q820fjTv5
— Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) March 14, 2018
Our personal favorite? “Black-Haired Semi-Conscious Adult-Diaper Luke,” recovering after a wampa attack in The Empire Strikes Back. The lack of Jedi robes literally strips the poor doll-man of all dignity, poor guy.
At the foot of the list, “Senior Citizen Jedi Pension-Plan Future Force-Ghost Luke” seems a little harsh, considering it’s a pretty perfect replica of modern-day Hamill — and dude, you’re so much more than a Senior Citizen Jedi on a pension plan.
This isn’t the first time Hamill has totally shat on the wide breadth of awful, useless Star Wars merchandise — and we love him for it more every time:
Actually, laying out sick burns on the worst merch from his flagship franchise is kinda Mark Hamill’s thing recently:
KID’s Top 4 LEAST-FAVORITE STAR WARS TOYS
A) Luke Skywalker Off-Camera in Ugly Blue Sweater Featured In No Movie — EVER
B) Cuddly Sarlaac Devours Victim Pillow
C) 3PO Show Me Where He Touched You Tape-Dispenser
D) R2-D2 Does Nothing But Hold An Egg-Cup pic.twitter.com/JS6hYMd0M6
— Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) February 26, 2018
**shudders at the thought of having to pleasure C3PO for a piece of tape**
Luke himself would know best, though! We can’t imagine how weird it is to know that millions of people out there are collecting tiny doll replicas of your likeness. But as usual, Hamill takes on the inherent weirdness of it all with grace and charm.
Never change! No seriously, these dolls have immortalized Hamill throughout the decades, and they will never change — and likely outlive us all.
Good night kids! “Roid-Rage” Luke Skywalker says sweet dreams!