Let’s play a quick game of Clue. Who has been absolutely KILLING the 2018 fashion game?
If you guessed Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski, in Pyeongchang, with the LEWKS, you are absolutely correct.
Since the former Olympic competitors have landed in South Korea for the 2018 Winter games, they have been delivering Fashion with a capital F.
Sure, sports are the main focus of the Winter Olympics, but Weir and Lipinski’s outfits are perhaps the true shining star of the games. Literally. They have been serving us sequins. They have been serving us bling. They have been serving us Hunger Games realness, and honey. HONNNEEEEYYYYY!
I. AM. HERE. FOR. ALL. OF. IT.
If you look at all of Weir and Lipinski’s outifts, they tend to fall into a pattern: Lipinski wears a whole lot of cocktail dresses, often with metallic details. And Johnny Weir is all about the A+ coat game and statement necklaces.
But no matter what the outfit, they ALWAYS coordinate.
That said, the devil is in the details and some outfits shine more than others (though, tbh, all of them are fantastic). There have to be winners and losers. This is the Olympics after all.
So here’s a definitive ranking of Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski’s best Olympics outfits.
10. On Wednesdays, we wear pink
Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. This is not the most exciting look that Tara and Johnny wore throughout the Olympics, but I love about that Terry Gannon is sitting on the right, trying his best to be a part of this squad with his lil pink pocket square. Also, there’s this:
Yaaasss, honey! Come through with that “You can’t sit with us” Mean Girls realness! I LIVE!
9. Slumber party chic
I like this look, but let’s be honest, it kinda looks like pajamas. Fancy pajamas. Pajamas that cost more than your rent for the month. But pajamas none the less.
That’s for a few reasons: first, the black diamond pattern on Tara’s dress is kinda reminiscent of a quilt. And second, Johny’s shirt kinda looks like thermals that you would wear to bed. But don’t get me wrong, wearing fancy pajamas to the Olympics is literally the dream. Who wouldn’t want to wake up and be like, “Listen, this is what I got, now deal with it.”
(What you can’t see are Johnny’s giant pearls, his swagged out bracelet, and the skirt that wraps around the pants.)
So you know what… Yaaasss, honey! Come through with that “I woke up like this. Flawless!” Beyoncé realness! I LIVE!
8. Necklace or Harness?
Have you ever had that moment when you’re getting dressed and you’re like, do I wear a tie with my suit? Or do I wear a necklace? Or do I wear a body harness (or at least it looks like a body harness) to hold my coat together? Well, friends, Johnny Weir has proven that YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.
I’m getting Fifty Shades of Winter Olympics vibes from this. A bedazzled body harness as formal wear? Christian. Grey. Could. Never.
Yaaasss, honey! Come through with that “My tastes are very singular” realness! I LIVE!
7. A part of your world
The first thing I thought of when I saw this outfit was The Little Mermaid. But if it were directed by Liberace. And Liberace had gone through a goth phase.
The top of the coat looks like a motorcycle jacket and a bottle of glitter had a love child (which I am 100% here for). Then, PLOT TWIST, as you go down the jacket, it gets these cool textured sleeves that flair out. And then you keep going and PLOT TWIST again the coat has a tail!
And then Weir completed the look with a ruffles for the collar. And the hair. THE HAIR! Work those sea tendril vibes, Johnny!
URSULA IS SHOOK!
Yaaassss, honey! Come through with that “You Poor Unfortunate Souls, sea witch at the Olympics” realness! I LIVE!
6. Shine bright like a diamond
Tbh, I don’t have that much to say. It’s shiny and I like it.
Yaaassss, honey! Come through with that *extreme Rihanna voice* “🎵Shine bright like a diamond 🎵” realness! I LIVE!
5. Business woman special
You know that office secretary that you’re friends with but also a little bit afraid of. The shady one that’ll wave hello when you she sees you walk toward the building but won’t press the button that’ll unlock the door because she wants to see you struggle a little bit? The one that clocks out right at 5 p.m. sharp because she is most definitely on her way to steal ya man? THAT’s what Weir’s outfit is serving me. The power shoulders of the coat, the necklace that low-key looks like a weapon, refinement of the turtleneck. This is an outfit that says, “I got the tea, maybe I’ll spill it, maybe, if I feel like it, now get out of my face.” If you couldn’t tell, I’m EXTREMELY into this outfit. And you know what? Mia Farrow was feeling this look too.
Also, shout out to Tara’s fly-ass sneakers!
Yaaassss, honey! Come through with that “Do you have some sort of business woman special” realness! I LIVE!
4. My heart will go on!
Okay, so this is kinda cheating because it wasn’t necessarily for the Olympics telecast, but a ranking of Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski’s outfits would be incomplete without shouting out Johnny’s all white ensemble (pronounced “ahn-sahm-bluh,” like you’re French and fancy), worn at an Olympic-themed episode of Lip Sync Battle, where he lip synced to “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion.
First off, I am extremely here for formal shorts! As I have declared earlier “I will wear shorts to work until the day I die.” Secondly, as Johnny Weir lip synced, this outfit billowed and flowed, taking me back to that scene in Titanic where Rose is standing with her arms spread open in the wind, declaring “I’m flying.”
Yaaassss, honey! Come through with that “There was definitely room for Jack on that door, Rose!” realness! I LIVE!
3. A Lannister pays her debts
Did they cast Johnny Weir on Game of Thrones because this is serving me some Cersei Lannister chic. You know the Cersei look. The one where she’s just blown up the Sept of Baelor with wildfire and she’s sipping her wine on her balcony, watching the green flames like, “Yeah, I did THAT.” That’s what this look is serving.
Yaaassss, honey! Come through with that “When you play the game of thrones you win or you die” realness! I LIVE!
2. And the gold medal goes to…
That’s a wrap on Olympic figure skating. I am so lucky I get to sit next to this intelligent, beautiful, witty, and loyal man I get to call my best friend. My partner in crime on and off camera for life. #2 Olympics in the books for us. Love you @johnnygweir @NBCOlympics pic.twitter.com/4mcOKACGOW
— Tara Lipinski (@taralipinski) February 23, 2018
For their last night of figure skating, Tara and Johnny made VERY clear that they were going Olympic, by wearing, well, gold.
And bonus, we get an other Terry Gannon pocket square!
Yaaassss, honey! Come through with that “We’re not evening competiting but we still won gold” realness! I LIVE!
1. The look that started it all
Your first impression is a last impression, and during their first night of figure skating commentating, Tara and Johnny let the world know: THEY. ARE. NOT. HERE. TO. PLAY.
Rocking dazzling red sparkles, Tara and Johnny served us Hunger Games fashion in the capital opulence. It was the look that started it all. It was a look that let us know that Johnny and Tara are true fashion goals.
Yaasss, honey! Come through with that “Why was Lenny Kravitz cast in this movie, I don’t even know but I’m still super into it, rock on Katniss Everdeen, Girl on Fire” realness! I LIVE!