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James Comey finally lets his emo side show during his testimony – A N I T H
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James Comey finally lets his emo side show during his testimony

James Comey finally lets his emo side show during his testimony


President Trump was wrong about former FBI Director James Comey: he’s no showboat, he’s just a 6’7″ emo teen.

Comey delivered a surprisingly emotional testimony on Thursday, making a special appeal to his former staff at the FBI. Comey spoke lovingly of the institution and the people who worked in it — and it was strangely hard not to tear up, even though this is, you know, J. Edgar Hoover’s baby.

Obviously, this is a profoundly serious hearing with lasting consequences, delivered at a critical time in American history. It’s not a joke.

That being said, if Comey’s looking for a new career post-FBI, he should seriously consider becoming a lyricist for Dashboard Confessional or, failing that, Death Cab for Cutie.

“And now to my former colleagues if I may: I’m so sorry I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to you properly. It was the honor of my life to serve beside you, to be part of the FBI family, and I will miss it for the rest of my life,” Comey said.

Additional signs Comey is emo:

1. Writes in diaries

2. Avoids parties with powerful people

3. Great on camera

4. “Complicated”

5. Grieving the loss of the FBI and may never let it go.

 

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Anith Gopal
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