How to survive a ‘Game of Thrones’ sex scene with awkward company
Warning: There might be a spoiler or two if you’ve never watched before or you’re very behind.
It’s Game of Thrones season again and you know what that means! Blood, betrayal, and buttloads of sex.
Despite (or possibly because of) all the sexy stuff that goes down in GoT, it really is a show pretty much anyone can enjoy.
However, if your family gathers around the TV Sunday nights to see what’s going down in Westeros, things have potential get a liiiiittle awkward.
So instead of excusing yourself to go get a glass of water (what if you come back too late and miss a major plot point), here are some solutions to various uncomfortable sex scene situations.
1. The Death Deflect
Situation: You’re innocently watching with your sibling and then Cersei and Jaime start getting it on.
Solution: Start naming all your favorite character deaths. “Yo bro remember the time *insert name here* was killed by *insert cause of death here*? All that blood everywhere?! Haha yeah, I love violence. What was your favorite death?”
2. The Doggy Distraction
Situation: You’re watching with your crush, whom you have yet to make a move on, when Grey Worm and Missandei (FINALLY) have sex.
Solution: Ask your crush if they’ve seen any good dog videos on the internet lately. Ease that sexual tension with something completely pure. Plus, it’s a great way to get to know them better.
3. The Hillary Coverup
Situation: You and your mom are bonding over your shared love of fantasy television when suddenly a sex scene breaks out and it’s super degrading towards women.
Solution: Ask your mom to Google “Which states did Hillary win in the Primaries”. If she asks why you can’t just do it, say you miss when she would read to you as a child.
4. The Small Talk Shutdown
Situation: You’re enjoying an episode with your pops when suddenly a very sensual sex scene ensues that ends with a man’s penis being chopped off.
Solution: Start coughing extremely loudly to gain the attention of your father. He’ll ask what is wrong and you can reply, “Allergy season.” Which will probably lead to a conversation about the crazy weather we’ve been having.
Well Game of Thrones fans, happy to help!
And hey, if all else fails bring up the latest Trump tweet.
Actually, no, in that case it’s better to just watch the sex scene in silence.