Five potential Trump theme songs as sung by his lawyer’s band – ANITH
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Five potential Trump theme songs as sung by his lawyer’s band

Five potential Trump theme songs as sung by his lawyer’s band

When you work for the Trump administration, prepare to be haunted by your past.

There was Sean Spicer’s Easter Bunny tenure, Kellyanne Conway’s all-too-brief stand-up career, and now there’s attorney Jay Sekulow’s 70’s rock cover band. 

Sekulow became the latest person in the Trump orbit to enter the spotlight as, over the weekend, he appeared on several Sunday morning news shows to defend Trump over the ongoing Russia investigation, including one on Fox News which didn’t go so well.  

Sekulow has his own unique history as a conservative pundit and an attorney who may be out of his depth defending a sitting president, as this great Washington Post profile notes. 

And he’s also in a bland suburban dad cover band. 

There was a bit of a kerfuffle on Monday when CNN’s Andrew Kaczynski linked to a SoundCloud account that appeared as if it might be Sekulow’s, but his firm, ACLJ, denied it and the page was subsequently deleted. 

Even without that, though, there is still the Jay Sekulow Band

SPIN did a terrific job of flagging some of the original songs Sekulow and his bandmates — which include a former member of Christian rockers Petra and the guy who briefly filled in for Steve Walsh in Kansas — have spun out.

But there’s an even deeper treasure trove of cover songs by the band available on YouTube and, unwittingly, Sekulow has provided a bevy of potential theme songs for the Trump administration.

We’ve done the necessary public service of picking five. 

“Undemocratic” by The Jay Sekulow Band

Sample lyrics: “Democracy in motion means a right to take sides / Since when is one rewarded for the emails she hides”

If this song were emoji, it would be “🐘🔥🇺🇸.” In case you have any trouble interpreting the song, it’s directly aimed at Lois Lerner and the IRS and their targeting of tea party groups who applied for non-profit status. 

There’s Nugent-lite riffs, a general them of “everything in America is terrible now,” and even that aforementioned line about emails (Lerner had her own email scandal) and all of a sudden this could have been the anthem from the campaign trail. 

“Liar” by Three Dog Night

Sample lyrics: “Ain’t that what you said? / Liar, liar, liar”

Whether about “alternative facts,” obstruction of justice, or even a lament from Sean Spicer to Trump, “Liar” encapsulates everything we’ve come to think about the Trump White House: just a bunch of hooey that obscures the truth.

“The Midnight Special,” traditional folk song

Sample lyrics: “But you better not complain, boy, you get in trouble with the man”

There’s something ironic about the intro to this video, with Sekulow claiming the song was appropriate at the time he recored it (August 2013) because of government “scandals.” 

Well, Sekulow now finds himself the face of a really big one, bigger than any of the scandals he complained about. (Shine a light, indeed.)

The song is still relevant, in that regard, sure. Just not how Sekulow originally intended. 

“The Weight” by The Band

Sample lyrics: “Hey, mister, can you tell me, where a man might find a bed? / He just grinned and shook my hand, ‘No’ was all he said.”

A song about a character whose predicament just get progressively worse and worse no matter how hard he or she tries to get out of it as judgement day looms. 

Nope, that doesn’t sound like anyone president I know. Not at all.

“Dust in the Wind” by Kansas

Sample lyrics: “Now, don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky / It slips away, and all your money won’t another minute buy”

Whether it’s a reflection on the loneliness of a man who’s responsible for the reprehensible immorality of his own empire or that we’re all now more likely to be turned to dust in nuclear annihilation, this one’s on point. 

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Anith Gopal
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