Donald Trump has touched The Orb. Here’s what that means
President Donald Trump’s trip to Saudi Arabia over the weekend went largely as planned. He appeared jovial on his first trip abroad, he announced billions in Saudi investment in the U.S., and his speech on terrorism was well received.
Last, but not least, he touched The Orb.
Donald Trump became the first sitting U.S. president to touch The Orb.
The Orb, of course, has existed long before the United States and even the concept of democracy, government, or even society. Its origins remain unknown and no sitting U.S. president has ever dared touch it, out of both fear and respect for its Power. So what does it mean that Donald Trump touched it? Well, a few things.
By touching The Orb, Donald Trump has seen all of history in one agonizing moment.
All of The Orb’s wealth of knowledge, which spans from literally everything from the very first dawn to the Earth’s dark and horrid last days, has been burned into Donald Trump’s mind in one horrifying instant. He has seen everything that has happened or will happen. This has no doubt changed him as a person. However, it is presently unclear if he even came out of this event with his sanity still in tact.
For the next few months or years, Donald Trump will be unable to shake the image of seeing his own death.
It will replay in his mind on a constant loop. He will likely do everything he can to try to prevent this outcome, but as we all know, the future is already written and his feeble attempts will prove fruitless. He will either be able to accept this fact, or it will consume him entirely.
Donald Trump has met and fought The Dark One.
At the end of his awful vision Donald Trump will have come face-to-face with Satan, Dark Lord of Hades, who explained to him the true and harrowing meaning of life, information no mortal should bear. Hearing these disgusting words from Satan’s dreadful voice will have no doubt provoked Donald Trump to impulsively attack him. They battled in Hell’s arena where Mr. Trump inevitably lost. As punishment he was cast into the fires below and tormented by Servants of Hell: creatures so horrific the human mind is incapable of imagining them.
As a reward for completing The Orb’s Trial, Donald Trump has been temporarily granted God’s powers.
If The Orb is pleased with Donald’s trial he will have been rewarded with the powers of God. Fortunately, Donald lacks the complex understanding required to wield these powers to their full extent, if at all. The knowledge of having the divine power of God and the inability to use them to their full potential will undoubtedly frustrate him into derangement. The powers will most likely wear off harmlessly before he has the chance to accidentally undo the creation of Earth.
Before long, his lust for The Orb will become insatiable, and he will need to be confined in a locked room until his desire wanes.
The Orb’s enigmatic essence is a powerful magnet, and Donald Trump’s desire to once again touch The Orb will burn hotter than one thousand suns in a phenomenon known as “Orb Madness.” It will drive him into hysterics and he will become inconsolable. For his own safety, he will be confined to a padded cell until it has been determined The Orb no longer dominates his thoughts. This could take days, months, or even years.
It’s too soon to determine how this will play out, or even if The Orb was pleased with Donald’s touch. Only time will tell and all we can do is speculate and pray to The Orb that Donald was a worthy enough subject to lay a mortal hand upon its enchanted surface.