Apple’s ‘Planet of the Apps’ totally gets kids are just a speed bump on the road to will.i.am
Bad news, little Timmy. Daddy doesn’t have time for you anymore.
You see, and we know this might be hard for someone as young as yourself to understand, your father is never around these days because he’s too busy taking risks to impress will.i.am.
What’s that you say? You’re confused?
I’ll back up a bit. You probably know this part already, but your dad is starring in a new reality television show produced by Apple. Pretty cool, right? It’s called Planet of the Apps, and it gives app developers like your father a chance to pitch their idea to a panel of four judges with the hope of eventually getting funded.
Like I said, totally cool.
Even neater, though, is the fact that those judges include Jessica Alba, Gwyneth Paltrow, Gary Vaynerchuk, and, as I previously mentioned, flesh-and-blood Dr. Pepper ad will.i.am. And while they might play nice on TV, the four horsemen of the appocalypse as we like to call them (hahah) really need your dad to give it his all if he ever expects to earn that chance to grovel at the feet of venture capitalists.
Still not getting it? Hmm. Well then, let me just go ahead and show you an ad tweeted out by the good folks at Planet of the Apps.
Need some help reading the words, Timmy? “I rarely get to see my kids,” it says. “That’s a risk you have to take.”
You see, your dad is trying to make it in the tech sector. And it’s cutthroat there. If you don’t work yourself to death it’s a sign you never truly lived. Or so I’m told. You at least won’t get funded, anyway, that part I know for sure.
Yes, yes, that’s definitely sad. In fact, you’re not the only one who thinks so.
As a father, I see that ad as horrendous.
— jon shipman (@shipman) June 9, 2017
Some people even thought the ad was silly, and made jokes about it.
And guess what, my main man Timbo? Whoever runs the Planet of the Apps Twitter account must have gotten the message, as the tweet was later deleted. Yes, little dude, that means they changed their mind.
Does that also mean you get to see your father more? Uh, no, not exactly. He still has to work unhealthy amounts of time on an interior design app, but at least Apple realized the messaging was wrong. So that’s good!
And hey, chin up lil’ Timmy. Because when you’re feeling down and blue, just remember that you can see your dad whenever you want — he’ll be streaming 24/7 on Apple Music, hanging out on Planet of the Apps with will.i.am while your childhood quickly passes you by.